it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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