I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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