Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
