Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
