I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
