How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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