just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
