Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
