Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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