My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
