weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
