ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize