i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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