Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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