Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
