(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
