Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
