I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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