GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
