it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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