Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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