I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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