Bisexual people are plain selfish.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
