its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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