grandma shit on top of the toilet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
