I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize