Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
