You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
