Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
