Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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