so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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