Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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