He told me they were just razor bumps!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
