In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize