Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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