He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She's JV to your varsity
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
