508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if only i could text you this smell
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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