I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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