So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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