my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize