I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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