I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
