i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
