ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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