i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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