Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Someone came in the potted fern
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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