you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
