I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
