im having a threesome with these popsicles
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
