No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
