you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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