I puked a lego.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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