Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
