oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
