all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i drank out of a bidet.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
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Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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