She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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