i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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