the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
