She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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