Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
